Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
