my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
