wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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