So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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