just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
