Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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