we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize