God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
why is half of my head shaved?
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