We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
God, I missed his penis.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
