He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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