party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
