they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
