i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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