i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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