Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
