its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
