i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
