Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
