Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
