I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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