Are we in a gay sports bar?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize