i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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