So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Are we still banned from the library?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
