it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
