when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
