If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
