In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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