Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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