I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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