Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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