Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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