its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
