For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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