bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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