i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize