i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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