I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize