im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
