I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
