This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
