we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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