But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
