3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We had to coat check the pizza.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
