You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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