dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
