So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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