Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
