I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
