it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How external is "for external use only"?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
