I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
