I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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