ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
