There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
