didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
