Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize