ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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