You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
