she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
