So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
